Thursday, July 29, 2010

A Sign from God in the Mayo

Yesterday morning, I woke up in a snit.

The sky was a murky colored grey, the humidity hung in the air with thickness and I just didn't feel like getting out of bed. I am sure my husband thought I looked something like this:

When I finally did get out of bed, I pouted and clomped my way to get my cereal, switched on the TV and chewed in silence while poor Kev tried to make conversation with me.

After he left to go to work, I shuffled over to my computer, yelled at poor Finnegan for sleeping on my desk and in my way and continuned on doing the mundane tasks for the day.

I have no idea what caused me to be in this mood. I think part of it was due to me receiving bad news from a friend, but I also think part of it was me thinking how different my life turned out than what I had orginally planed.

When I was in high school, I had these huge aspirations to attend Columbia School of Journalism in NYC, get a job working for Rolling Stone Magazine and live in my own apartment in the heart of Manhattan.

What really ended up happening was I attended college only 45 minutes away from home, I am a freelance writer for the local newspaper (even though I get a ton a work) and Kev and I bought our little house right across the street from where he grew up.

Instead of subways and bright yellow taxis, we have our Jeep and live where quads and ATVs go up and down the street.

I don't think I made a bad decision, I just think I made a different decision than what I had orginally set out to do.

Where we live, the opportunity for me to build a "career" out of journalism is difficult because there aren't that many oportunities.

We could have moved somewhere else, but I wanted to stay close to family because I have always been super close to my parents and Kev has been with his. Plus, I know we are going to have children and I would like them to be able to have the close relationship with their grandparents that I had with mine because we lived so close.

So this perfect storm of emotion just sat and marinated in me all day until about lunch time.

When I stomped into the kitchen to make my two point weight watcher turkey sandwhich, which is really yummy, I started to put the mayo on my sandwhich when I saw something.

Believe me, I was not trying to make a smiley face out of my mayo, in fact I was probably going for anything but the smiley face. The bun top was actually turned on its side when I made this.

Now call me kookie, call me crazy, but I took this little mayo smile as a little sign to calm down because everything will work out.

It is sometimes in life's craziest moments that we need to stop and take a look around us and see what is really there.

So maybe I didn't get my dream job, but I still have a job that keeps me busy, gives me a very flexable schedule that allows me to travel and I get to meet lots of interesting people.

I might not live in an apartment in the city that never sleeps, but we do have a really cute little house, with a garden, lots of room to expand and it is in the neighborhood that we really wanted to live in.

Not to sound cliche, but as the saying goes if life gives you lemons, then make a huge pitcher of lemonaid (and maybe add some vodka to make it more interesting.)

"Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and leave the rest to God."


i'm no miss said...

I love the transition of this post, from grumpy to something very positive and light..Loved most the quote at the end. Very inspirational:)

Sam_I_am said...

I was going to go to Pittsburgh and be a big-wig in a human services agency. instead I came back home. Everyone complains about this place, but so many of us come back, because it is home. I look at it this way, I could have gotten married, pregnant and then lived off the system in our county. Instead, I went to school and came back and I'm working to make the place that I call home a touch better.